As I write this, my mother is dying. She is in pain, looks horrible, and cries out a lot. It shakes me to the core to see her this way. She’s beyond recovery with any of the healers or healing I know.
My father, 86 and going strong, is her basic caretaker. He has refused most offers of help. When I return home to see them both, I struggle with what I see.
I’ve been reflecting on the insights here for you and me. This is a time of letting go and processing. There are at least three urgent life lessons that I feel compelled to share with you. Maybe you know them; maybe you don’t. But I feel obligated to describe them, hoping they will help all of us.
Here they are:
If you don’t take care of your health, your enjoyment of life, and most likely your length of time here, will suffer. This isn’t to be taken lightly. I’m not just talking about how you feel today, but how what you do today will influence how you feel a few years to decades from now. You are sculpting your future self from today’s thoughts, decisions and actions.
My mother hasn’t taken care of herself. For the last 13 years she has suffered from depression and procrastination. Over time, that created the deteriorating body I see today. Yet my father has exercised every day for the last fifty years. He’s 86 and basically in good health. Seeing him handle my mother is an inspiration.
Your health should be your top priority.
Unless you do something today about your finances, years to decades from now you may find yourself relying on others. That may not be a good thing. The health care system we currently have in the USA isn’t very healthy, or reliable. You don’t want to burden family or friends, and you don’t want to count on them. The only way out is to be financially free. That way you can hire the best care, even a personal doctor or nurse. You can take care of yourself and be comfortable.
My parents are “OK” financially. Their bills are paid. They have some insurance. But they can’t afford what I think my mother needs right now. I can, of course, and I am doing whatever my father will allow. But I don’t think you want to end up in a position where you are dependent on others.
Your wealth should be a top priority.
Throughout life, the goal seems to be happiness. A better word might be contentment. Yes, we want life experiences and “stuff,” but that’s because we think they will bring us happiness. The real goal is to be happy now.
My mother is not happy. My father is, or at least appears to be. And I confess that during this time with my mother I have had difficulty finding my center; that place of peace in the center of the cyclone. Yet happiness, or contentment, is the secret passageway to making all of life enjoyable, or at least acceptable.
Contentment should be your central priority.
Those life lessons are important. But how do you make them a reality?
Here are a few answers that have helped me:
Today the average life span is about 78 years. Thanks to better nutrition and better medicine, we are living longer. But you can’t stop there. Read Dr. Marc Gitterle’s book on anti-aging, called Growing Young. I realize there are numerous books on health and wellness. I know Dr. Gitterle. He’s helped me. His book is a breakthrough. Get his e-book direct from his website or get the printed version at Amazon. (I don’t make a dime when you buy it.)
According to the Associated Press on November 17th, “People who are 90 or older have nearly tripled in number since 1980, to 1.9 million…The trend is posing unique health challenges and adding to rising government costs for the strained Medicare and Social Security programs.” Save yourself. Read Attract Money Now. It’s free. I wrote it to help you out of the money mess. Quit giving your power to others; quit being a victim; quit complaining. Find your path to freedom. Get it direct from this link: http://www.attractmoneynow.com (Remember, it’s free.)
This moment is the miracle. Even with all the challenges, even with all the sadness, even with all the suffering, this moment is still a miracle. Finding peace within the circumstances of the moment is your test. There are many ways to help yourself return to this moment. When I was getting on a plane to see my mother a few months ago, and I knew she was in ER and didn’t know what I was going to face, I had to slow down my breathing, quiet my mind, and return to the serenity of the moment. My being at peace when I got to see my mom also helped her relax.
When I review this post, I see that I’m describing what others have said is our search and our right: the pursuit of health, wealth, and happiness. It’s not new. It’s centuries old.
The real question is, are you actively pursuing these?
The key word is actively.
It’s one thing to nod your head and agree with me. It’s quite another to stand up and do something.
I’m asking you to do something.
As I was writing this post for you, I learned a friend of mine from college died.
Then I learned the mother of another friend passed away.
What’s the best way to deal with these life challenges?
Nature reminds us of the way:
A cat we’ve had for over ten years suddenly stopped eating, looked ill, and left. He was feral. We had never been able to touch him, let alone catch him. But I marvel at how in tune with nature he was. He didn’t complain or second guess or doubt. He accepted his moment and moved on.
But the story gets even better.
Our dog, Wolfie, has never slept indoors at night. Not in ten years. Not during heavy rains or deep freezes. Never. But once our feral kitty left us, Wolfie moved in. Somehow Wolfie knew her friend no longer needed her outside for protection or company.
It’s inspiring to see nature work in such perfection. I want to be so in tune with my Divine connection to know what to do in each moment. For now, it’s writing this message to you.
What is it for you?
Finally, I’ve sometimes asked my readers to join me in holding an intention. Whether to stop a hurricane, clean up an oil spill, or put out wildfires, every time I’ve made such a request there was a measurable difference in the world.
This time I’m asking you to help my mother.
Please hold the intention that she is at peace in her body and mind. Send her love. Pray, clean, meditate, or whatever else you feel guided to do. Ask for her most benevolent outcome.
I love you.
PS — I wrote a song called “Three Months” that you’ll be able to hear on my forthcoming music CD, Strut! It’s based on a true story, where a friend was given three months to live. The song asks you to reflect on the question, “What would you do if you had three months to live?” It might be worth meditating on today, especially since tomorrow is Thanksgiving holiday in the USA: What would you do if you were given a short time on earth? What are you grateful for? Who are you grateful for? Who would you call? Thank? Hug? Kiss? What would you do? The moment to do something is right now. BTW, Happy Thanksgiving.